I'm doing all the parenting while they're using

Situation Recognition

You're handling all parenting responsibilities - school, activities, discipline, bedtime, emotional support - while your partner is either absent, using, or too impaired to help. You feel like a single parent while still being in a relationship.

Michael Wilson's Insight

"Addiction makes your partner unavailable for real parenting, leaving you to do the work of two parents. Acknowledging this reality helps you get the support you need and protects children from expecting reliability that addiction can't provide."

Comprehensive Guidance

Why addiction creates single parenting:

• Substances impair judgment needed for safe, responsible childcare
• Addiction priorities (obtaining, using, hiding substances) override parenting duties
• Withdrawal, hangovers, or intoxication make them physically/emotionally unavailable
• Erratic behavior and mood swings confuse and frighten children
• You can't rely on them for important parenting tasks or emergencies
• Children learn to depend on you exclusively for stability and needs

Managing single parenting during addiction:

• Accept the reality - plan as if you're parenting alone during active addiction
• Build support networks: family, friends, other parents, childcare resources
• Maintain routines and stability that don't depend on their participation
• Don't make children responsible for managing or understanding the absent parent
• Take care of your own needs so you can sustain single parenting demands
• Consider respite care or family help to prevent burnout

Implementation Steps

1. Acknowledge the situation: "I'm functionally single parenting right now and need support"

1. Build your support network: Identify family, friends, and resources who can help with childcare

1. Create reliable routines: Schedule activities, bedtime, and responsibilities that don't require their participation

1. Protect children from disappointment: Don't promise their involvement in activities or events

1. Practice self-care: Schedule breaks, support for yourself, and stress management techniques

What to Expect

Exhaustion from carrying full parenting load alone. Children may ask why other parent isn't involved in activities or responsibilities. Relief when you stop expecting their participation and plan independently. Potential improvement if recovery becomes sustained - but protect against repeated disappointment.

Professional Resources

East Point Behavioral Health: (855) 887-6237 - Family therapy and single parenting support during addiction

Single Parent Support Groups: Resources and community for parents managing alone

Respite Care Services: Temporary childcare to prevent caregiver burnout