Your afternoon drive takes you down a long, winding road in the countryside. As you turn a corner, the view opens up into a clearing that stretches far off into the distance. Your attention is drawn to the movement of a dark shadow high in the otherwise clear sky above you. This shadow appears to be flowing with a rhythm through the clouds. It seems to move and twist, first thinning out, then expanding to cover even more sky. A falcon flies close to the edge of the shadow, and it seems to guide this fingerprint in the sky the way that a shepherd dog would guide its flock through an open field.
This shadow in the sky is a murmuration, a flock of European starlings. These speckled, iridescent-black birds are known for their beautifully choreographed movements in the sky. They appear to move as one large organism, communicating as if telepathically.
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Key ideas in this chapter
- The murmuration metaphor for family systems
- How one spinning bird affects the entire flock
- Why families must stabilize first before helping the addicted member
- The importance of not letting addiction control the family system
"When we allow our addicted loved one's actions and behaviors to break down the very system designed to help them fly straight, the addiction wins."